I finished the script for Beanstalk Volume 2 yesterday. The celebration is short lived, however; they always are. I guess you could say I rejoiced by going to PrintWorks to buy a hard copy of it. 129 pages. I’ve already started making changes.

I’m a lot more relaxed with myself this time around. I’m not a perfectionist all at once, because I know the process now. That doesn’t mean I’m not still a freak concerning the big idea and a freak about the details. But it certainly doesn’t help to get uptight about it.

I’m also more patient working with people. I’m not an executive, even though I’m hardwired to feel like one. ¬†I’m directing a collaboration of talented artists; we are creating a visual anthology of Edgar Allan Poe’s short stories and poems. The artist contract is new for me, and there have been some disagreements among the group regarding its contents. It’s hard to find artists who are driven. They’re often in the type-b percentile, but this crew feels right. And even if some of them don’t end up sticking until the end, who cares? I’d love for them to be a part of it. I think all of them have a lot to offer, and potentially a lot to gain, from the experience. But if they can’t commit, they’re out. It’s a great project, and if they fail to deliver, that’s their loss.

Not really one for big celebrations, I’m getting back to work.


My Writing Process

Starting on my second graphic novel, in the series Beanstalk, I’m already on page 50 at least in my script. It’s going a lot quicker than my first book, and I can’t quite pinpoint why. I don’t think about it as often when I’m at work. (It used to be all I daydreamed about, before some guy punched Richard Spencer, and now that’s all I can dream of doing. I think of that, and Kellyann Conway’s “alternative facts.”)

It could be that I’m not as good at this anymore, or it could be I’ve gotten better. There was a time when the simple task of waiting on tables was daunting, but now I do that with such ease so as it does not register if I’m talking to you, while I’m thinking about something completely different. “Would like fruit or potatoes for your side?” In my head I’m contemplating Rousseau’s ideas on civil liberty, because I am a big nerd like that.

I’ve started this new graphic novel with a rather unexpected side plot. Dennis is a character I had no intention of reviving, but he has become a central part of this project. He is somewhat of an automaton, as I believe a number of scientists and engineers are in reality. (That doesn’t mean all of them are self serving pricks without any intention of serving the greater good.) He got into this business, because he was good at differential equations, and it made him feel good to be competent at something. I feel like that’s something we can all relate to at least on some level, (even if you failed algebra 2 twice in high school ((Guilty!))


Back to Work

Welp, I officially put Beanstalk Volume 1 The Farm on Amazon yesterday. While I figured it would feel monumental, (it does feel good) all I can think about is all the things I still have to do in order to advance my writing career. I do perhaps feel a sense of relief. I have proven something to myself and perhaps to other people. (I don’t think they care quite as much as I do, but it’s nice to feel accomplished.)

I took special care of my body today, and reminded myself to live in the moment. I tried to meditate, but it’s not really my thing. I think of myself as a focused person, but meditation is a difficult process.

Now it’s time to work on Volume 2 of Beanstalk!

Thoughts from the Tao-te Ching

The author of the Tao-te Ching (Dow deh Jing) is speculated to be name Lao-tzu. He was a slightly older contemporary of Confucius. Lao-tzu’s writings offered a precursor to Taoism. However, the Tao-te Ching focuses mostly on governance.

“The Master leads

by emptying peoples’ minds

and filling their cores,

by weakening their ambition

and toughening their resolve.”

This is such an interesting verse. I think Kim Jong Un follows this advice more closely than any American leader. His ideology Juche, translates roughly into “self-reliance.” Kim 11-Sung developed the ideology as a variant of Marxism-Leninism. Juche was first referenced to inspire the people to fight Japanese dogmatism. ¬†Personally, I think it’s a way for dictatorial leaders to keep their power while their people live in squalor.

“When they think that they know the answers,

people are difficult to guide.

When they know that they don’t know,

people can find their own way.


“If you want to learn how to govern,

avoid being clever or rich.

The simplest pattern is the clearest.

Content with an ordinary life,

you can show all people the way

back to their own true nature.”

This made me think of our recent election. The first verse, I feel, is many peoples’ response to Trump’s being our president-elect. I sincerely do think I have answers, however. I mean, a lot of people say they’re socially liberal and financially conservative. How did we elect a president who is the inverse of those two things?

I actually do see the merit in the second verse. I think people felt ignored or steamrolled by the government, when the numbers suggested things were getting much better. Unemployment happens during every administration. Sometimes you can’t blame a leader for those things though. I think the majority of people don’t realize how good they have it. We will see how bad things can get within the next four years, however.


A Little Bit of Crying

Whelp, it took a little bit of crying, but I think I finally figured out how to format my book so that createspace will accept it. I’ve had to add these new borders; I opted to make them colorful. I think they look pretty snazzy.


I had attempted to contact my old graphic design professor. He emailed me back pronto, but after I gave him the specifications that I needed for margins and whatnot, I just have this feeling he’s not going to email me back. Maybe he’s busy with the holiday. Maybe it went into his spam folder. Maybe he doesn’t care. Whatever. I think I’ve got it now.

It was a long, hard day. Work was so monotonous, for some reason I couldn’t comprehend. I usually love working. I think my energy was a little stagnant. I’ve been waking up congested, and with a lack of purpose since my book has lost momentum.

And I’m a little homesick. And when I’m homesick I latch on to my boyfriend. He’s the only person I’m ever vulnerable around. (I should really work on making more friends so he doesn’t have to bear the brunt of it.) He was out of town these past couple days for his job. He’s at a friend’s tonight. He works hard and deserves to blow off some steam. It’s also not his fault I’m needy, but I’m still took it personally, even if it wasn’t rational. (You and I are both glad to know I didn’t voice my personal affront. I mean, I’m completely fine right now.) Who wants to hang out with a red, poofy faced girlfriend, frustrated at her computer, when you could drink a cool refreshing beer with your friends? Mmmmm… I should drink a beer right now. That would make me feel a lot better.

I probably just need some sleep. I mean, I was just staring at a trial version of InDesign, weeping. I’m not normally a person who weeps.

But I think I’ve got it figured out now. Good night, World!


Starting My Old Second Job Again

Tonight I’ll be working at my old job again, a little restaurant situated downtown. I gave my two weeks in July. However, I’m back at it every Sunday night now. Having a second job helps curtail my guilt of working a super easy primary job. I mean, I get paid to be nice to people and bring them their food. Sometimes it is actually hard to be nice to people, especially when you’re hosting.

“It will be 15 minutes for a table.”

“Really? There’s an empty table right there.”

“Yes, why would I lie to you? I’m sorry everyone had the same idea as you. And see my list? There are people ahead of you.” I really want to say it just like that someday. I mean, it’s only my job to know which tables are open and seat them.

I wonder if the new minimum wage law will affect me. My boss says she wouldn’t mind paying us minimum wage if she gets some sort of tax break. But I don’t see that happening.

I’m saving money for a house with my boyfriend, so maybe I’ll keep this second job again for a while. I’m not expecting houses to get any cheaper. (Why, oh why, did I choose to live near Aspen, Colorado? I don’t even like skiing.) Also, with Trump’s stupid plan to build infrastructure we don’t need, the Federal Reserve is expecting inflation and adjusting their interest rates accordingly. Bad news for folks who want to buy a home. Maybe the economy will crash in the next two years. Should I be rooting for that? I mean, it’s possible if Trump repeals the Dodd-Frank Act, right?

Save your money, people.